Feminists live in a tension between what is and what we want it to be. On many of the characteristics of the world, we sincerely believe that they are not right, that they are not fair, that they can and should be changed. These include material conditions of paternity and, in particular, maternity.

Almost all women wonder: being a mother or not being a mother? (Among men it is less common to ask about the option of paternity, but this time we are not going to enter it). Some of us have a doubt in a quarter of an hour, whether the answer is one way or another, but many others are questioned for a long time. Many women fuse their medulla to find out if it gives birth (or is adopted) or not, just in the couple, in the threesome, in the tribe, now or later. They try to analyze and measure the pros and cons of motherhood: Is it worth it? Am I happy? Will I regret it? Will it be a good time? (If I am not mistaken, most questions refer to yourself and your life as a mother, not the child who will come so much.)

Today, motherhood is not an inevitable destination for most women: I can decide not to be a mother. But if I decide to become a mother (now here), and I decide above all to be myself, without a partner or without large networks willing to participate in growth, I will surely have to give up some plans in my day to day. For example, going to the movies when I want to, lengthening the warranty and eating late, taking a degree in a short time, or a talk that interests me a lot. This will multiply if I'm poor, or I have an absorbing trade or bad times.

Poverty itself is an injustice, as well as the hours of work being incompatible with life, or the care and care of people in need are precarious and unguaranteed. That is why we can and must demand a public surveillance system, and we are doing so to give a dignified life to what needs to be cared for and who cares for it professionally or in personal settings. But the best universal and guaranteed public care service we can imagine, here and now, and certainly in the best imaginable world, will never (and must not) completely eliminate the minimum slaughter doses associated with certain decisions we make.

In particular: going to a museum or the theater with my child crying, screaming and annoying, thinking we have a right to everything and constantly. Disguised as a claim for rights, it is a consequence of the infantilization caused by neoliberalism, following the motto I want it all and I want it now (I want it all and I want it now). It hurts everyone: for the actors, for the rest of the public, for the mother or father and for the child. It is a lie that everything can always be, there are incompatible things and decisions that mean giving up.

We have claimed without discussion that sacrifice belongs to the Jude-Christianity programme. And we are hedonists, we do not accept the Judaeo-Christian morality, therefore, nor do we accept sacrifices. But -- really? Shouldn't we think again? What can be achieved in life without sacrifices? We have taken the community out of the cistern, as if everything were like the world of Yuppi, caring for and caring for others as if it were something that should only be done with love or in exchange for a living wage, never by obligation or personal sacrifice. We have left it in the hands of the Christian apologies of sacrifice (like many other things). And there we are lost in a supposedly hedonistic world imposed by capitalism.