Tell us, what exactly is it to be asexual?
Being asexual is not having sexual attraction to others. The absence of sexual attraction does not mean that we do not have sexual desires, that is, some asexuals may choose to masturbate to satisfy the sexual desire. Others have neither attraction nor desire; some, after falling in love with someone, may choose to have sex with him. Every asexual is a world.

When did you know that you are asexual? Is it hard to notice?
Just a year ago, I named my identity, when I was 35. I've felt like this all my life, different, but I named him last year, so it's hard to notice. Before, in my case I've taken it quite well, I saw it was different and I just thought that my preferences were others, not to liaise with someone. But I know that a lot of people who are in the same situation have a really bad time, because they feel that they're weird and that they're not normal. The truth is that there are a lot of people who, although asexual, don't know.

Last year, when I was doing a job, in the DSM manual, the “bible” of mental disorders (diagnostic manual and statistics of mental disorders), I talked about asexuality and began to read more about it. "I am that! I thought.

But then does DSM consider asexuality a mental disorder?
No, no longer. The American Psychiatric Association, in charge of renewing the DSM list, concluded in 2007 that asexuality is not a disorder, but as the manual was not republished until 2013, until that year it appeared as a disorder. The same applies to other sexual tendencies: homosexuality was on the list until 1990 and transsexuality has been considered a disorder until 2018. And yet, in order for hormones to be allowed to be administered, transsexuals have to go to psychiatry before they authorize it. Pathologizing all of them as disorders is, in my opinion, a sign of ignorance. The struggle of the LGTBI+ group has been important in coping with it.

Is this one of the greatest stigmas of asexuality? Is it considered disorder, trauma… not wanting to have sex with others?
Yeah, a lot of people think that way, they think it's not normal that there's no sexual attraction, and that's why I'd rather not talk about my situation. But that's how I was born and is, I don't suffer as a disorder or trauma.

When you tell people you're asexual, what's the reaction usually?
I don't use the word, because asexual etiquette doesn't help, I mix people more, but not explained, people easily understand it. I've explained it to very few people, because it's something that's stigmatized. I've been lucky and at home you've received it very well, but you've advised me not to tell me, because you're going to laugh, because people can hurt. I've also told you about two of the crew, so they don't want to stick with someone anymore, and the question has been: “How do you know you’re asexual, if you haven’t tried what it is to have sex with someone else?” And I answered. “And how do you know that you are not lesbians if you have not tried it?” It's the usual question. And the eternal conviction that we are celibes. No, we are not celibes, because they have been attracted, but for religious reasons or any other reason they have decided that they will not have sex with anyone.

The image that people have of us? That we are some repressed, some frikis. I understand that most people aren't like me, and therefore, that there's that ignorance, because at the end of the day, you don't work on asexuality in sex education and in courses related to sex. We are absolutely invisible and sometimes people have to be given time. Another thing is that they use my identity to laugh and insult me disrespectfully. Three years ago, a acquaintance told me suddenly, in front of a lot of people: “Have you already premiered?” I told her that my sex life didn't matter. He wanted to make me ridiculous in front of everyone.

Is adolescence perhaps one of the most difficult times?
I had a bad time, for example, because I liked a boy, but I just liked him, no sexual attraction, and I didn't know how to manage those feelings. With a gang, and, faced with the pressure I felt, I would always avoid the subject; if they asked me “Ligas?”, I answered that it was my personal life.

It's funny, I've always thought I didn't link, but my friends told me yes, they tried to link with me, although I didn't know. It may be because we don’t feel attracted to not capturing or interpreting the signals that go in that direction…

We live in a society that is sexually dominated and conditioned by sex, in a sexualized society. How does an asexual carry it? There
are asexuals that go through very badly, there are people who, in a movie, for example, see some sexual scene and feel nauseous, feel out of society, but that's not my case. It is true that sex is very present in our society, but I carry it normally; I long ago told my friends “I bulk forever”, and I have managed to get them to leave me alone, although sometimes they live in uncomfortable situations. The education and support I have had at home has been fundamental to me.

Have you had the need to share your experiences with other asexuals?
I got in touch with an asexual association, but I found it very closed, as if the asexuals had everybody against, and when I told them, for example, that I wanted to get in touch with the LGTB association of Gehitu Euskal Herria, they told me that in Gehitu they would call me a repressed lesbian. Now I have asexual friends, but more open. And also, for me, it's important to get together and talk not only with asexuals, but with people of all sexual tendencies, because it's more enriching. I, precisely, have the most support in a non-asexual person; she tells me her experience and I mine it, and then I feel the greatest freedom to talk about the subject. Diversity helps, and in this sense is a good example of how the issue has been addressed at Canadian Public University British Columbia, which is committed to building a community open to all genders and sexual identities, and in which asexuals are also taken into account.

For those who want a romantic partner, is it a big obstacle to be asexual?
If in the couple the two are asexual, all right, but often it is not, and in the cases I know it is not easy to manage, because one of the members of the couple is willing to have sex and the other is not. Some people accept relationships because they love their partner, but I don't understand it. This does not mean that in these sexual relations asexual does not feel pleasure.

According to the studies, 1% of the interviewees are asexual, although little is said about asexualidad.Es
more, I don't think we are more than 1%. I have not known until a year ago that I am asexual, and I would say that there are many other people in the same situation, not knowing that it is asexual. Many of the former singles and solterons were surely asexual.

In the face of the claim and struggle made in the case of other sexual identities, is asexuality still hidden?There is still a lot of
stigma and visibility is necessary, but it is not so easy. I myself belong to a small town and I do not want to bring that label on top. In such a sexualized society, we have no place, we are invisible. Imagine, sometimes I carry veneer with the colors of the asexuality flag, but almost nobody knows it.

What is the way for us to take into account your identity in society?Education is the main key, that sex-related courses
also talk about asexuality, to avoid, among other things, that people who feel this way feel strange. I think the LGBTI+ collective should also give us a bigger bellows, we're very marginalized within the collective.

Have you accepted this interview for the sake of that visibility?
Yes, in order to reach as many people as possible: not only to help asexual people, but above all non-asexual people to make our reality known. For you to know that we are not crazy, that we have no lios, that we are not rare, frikis or celibes; we exist and you probably have some acquaintance that is asexual; try with respect and empathy, do not be heavy or act like Celestine, do not insist to bind, if you don't want.