“What is it?” Boy or girl?

“I don’t know, because he doesn’t speak yet.

This response proposed by transentrepreneur Kate Bornstein has been broadened in queer environments to question the obsession of gender binarism with young children. It is a constant question that we must also answer pregnant women. Many times they just ask us, “What is it going to be?” We could respond to endless things. “One person.” “With the kicks he gives, maybe he’s carathace.” “I hope it’s not a policeman or a military man!” But we know that what he asks us is, "What is it going to be?" has two possible and unique answers: girl or boy.

I have tried to do pedagogy and I often explain “I care more about having a good heart.” Or I'm more curious about the expression of your face than your legs. It's like heading against a wall. The family repeated the same question every week, with bright eyes: “You know, you know? When will they tell you? Well, I know it's the same thing, that the important thing is to be happy and healthy, but knowing makes illusion, right?"

Even though I'm upset by this collective obsession, I've remembered an anecdote that I lived in a prejudice workshop when I was a SOS Racism activist. The dynamizers said a person's name, let's say Aitziber, and the group had to invent its biography. “25 years. He is preparing a master's degree. He likes to dance.” Suppose Babakar: “He’s come from Senegal in kicker. He works on the top manta. Barça goes on.” This exercise was complicated when the dynamizers proposed a name that did not have a clear gender mark, let's say, Shihab. The group was completely blocked: they couldn't represent anyone without knowing gender. I understand that this happens to my family: until I know sex, my fetus has no possible identity, form or condition, and they can't give her any clothing. I had to admit that I too find it hard to imagine a child without gender (look, in Basque we also need neutral names of relatives).

Sex/gender is the stiffer axis of our society, which the cultural system constantly reinforces. In the toy store, instead of classification by hobbies, we found hallways by gender, one blue and one pink. The Spanish Civil Registry Act prohibits parents from including names of people who are neutral to children, because “ambiguity” is contrary to dignity. Euskaltzaindia submitted himself to Amets and invented it in the Nomenclature: Ametsa must be to make it acceptable for girls. Thanks to Argia magazine, among other things, it opposed this absurd policy and sexista.El gender binarism and its care are the keys to patriarchy, guarantees of inequality and sources of
suffering for trans and intersex people. That's why it's so important to disobey. But it's not easy, even though the speech has been well learned. Author Aixa de la Cruz also writes on this topic in La Marea: “A non-gender utopia is like denying God in the Spain of the Catholic Kings.” When she learns that her son is a mackerel, she recognizes that she was using queer philosophy to disguise her fear, the fear of educating her daughter in a patriarchal society. But I was more afraid of educating a man in this patriarchal society. Contradicting the contradictions, I must confess that I was excited to discover the leg on the ultrasound screen.