When they proposed to write to me on this page, I got a number of doubts, especially a question I had to solve. I wanted to know who I represented in the series, the weight of female voices compared to male voices. The answer was satisfactory.

Let no one think, I was given the opportunity to write because I'm very aware of my privileges, but these words that I've heard from a feminist friend for a long time have humbled me. “What do you think men can do to help in that struggle?” I asked. Her response was severe: “It’s better to think about what you’re not going to do to keep us going without being an obstacle.” The contradictions multiplied.

I'm used to living in the comfort of the young person. I live in a stable, white, heterosexual and economic social situation, productive and useful for the capitalist society that we live in. Something – or someone – asked me not to make the offer, to break my luxurious home. I leaned forward to reflect. Before I anticipate all those people who despised my progress, I wanted to understand that the setback can be anticipated.

I remembered my daily experiences. Episodes that most of us take advantage of, countless dominant, machistan and subtle ways that we have at our fingertips. For example, family images. In them the mother, sister, aunt or grandmother appear preparing the food, cleaning the house, washing the underpants or making time to ensure the care of all people. We, on the other hand, do not want to have time for all these obligations.

I also remembered our affective sexual relations, our insecurities to become victims, the ways of promoting relationships that hide our frailty. What is more, every time we have used jealousy, in our attitude of increasing our control and diminishing their right to decide, as well as in our attitude of seeking attention which, every time we provoke a controversy, makes it difficult for our humanity to explain to us clearly.

See? Unconsciously, I keep writing in the first person in the plural. Enough! The assumption of one's own responsibility cannot be so difficult if one takes into account what others do. I opened the door and put myself in the assembly of my collective. Once again I have taken the floor of a colleague, as if mine were more important than yours. I have reassured myself, at least in order to take over, I need you to repeat what I have said, so that the position I am defending is clear at all times. In the meantime, without having finished my participation yet, I would like to point to the works in which I am presented, that nobody forgets that I am a good militant, that at all times I am a good man for everyone to see that I am a good militant.

I'm getting in a terrible hurry. And I already considered myself a feminist! Practitioner of new non-hegemonic masculinities, deconstructed man. In addition, we now consider ourselves allies, yet whether we like it or not, we are executioners of a damn war. Today I will have a hard time getting to sleep. No one has followed me to the door of the house, I'm not afraid of a servant who tells me he wants me, but since March 8, we men also started to feel that smell on our back, right?

They have suspended the pact and changed the relationship rules forever. If they're not completely clean, they don't need us! Not to organize the strike, not to stop the world. They don't need us to build a family alien to the nuclear family model, or to create free and transformative relationships; needless to say, they don't need us to build real strong and emancipating social movements.

On the contrary, just the opposite. We have a lot to learn to observe, to silence and to listen. We have a long way to unlearn so as not to be great stones that hinder the path to their freedom. We dare to reject the mechanisms and manoeuvres of this unsustainable status quo that we have nurtured. No author, no accomplice: let us destroy our own and deliver our weapons, life demands another way.