In November, the North-South Meeting of Masculinity and Human Development was held in Bilbao, with the participation of members from Euskal Herria, the Spanish State and Latin America. It makes a lot of sense to show the relationship between the masculinity model and human development. When talking about male violence, it focuses on women: how they can get out of this situation, what model of love they have ingested to accept mistreatment, etc.

Most of the attendees and attendees of the talks are women, as if gender-based violence were a problem for women. Men in favor of equality, however, focus their attention on the responsibility of men in the fight against male violence and also propose to carry out preventive work with them, identifying daily micromachic attitudes and rejecting the social tendency to use violence in conflicts.

In addition, they make gender readings about other social problems, such as traffic accidents, drug use or criminality, which are associated with the socialization of traditional masculinity. They criticize the passion for power, the need to constantly express value through risk taking, the promotion of a model of selfish and insatiable sexuality, claiming attitudes of care, solidarity and sensitivity.

I was very impressed by the work of men working for equality. But I soon understood the causes of the suspicions and tensions that are manifested in the relations between men and women who are fond of equality. Feminism is a path of empowerment and freedom for women, and the macho attitudes of men and women in this environment are especially painful, as their identification is more difficult and assumes that in our “home” we are also at risk of sexist aggressions.

Miguel Ángel Arconada, an expert educator on equality, recognized at a conference that many advocates of new masculinities eliminate the costs of traditional masculinity, such as the possibility of expressing emotions or expanding the model of sexuality, but maintaining its privileges for being a man: leadership, status, power...

Sociologist Jokin Azpiazu also criticized in Pikara magazine that the emphasis of the discourse of the new masculinities is on identity (what it means to be “man” for man) rather than accepting and rejecting his power and his hegemony. He also considers that the view of this movement is heterosexual, as it is a heterosexual man who lives in a couple as a reference subject.

“With equality we also win men,” these groups say to attract men. But the truth is that men have to lose power to end the imbalance by sexism, for example, to incorporate women into the leadership of a company, trade union or political association. On the other hand, sharing the responsibility for care is not only playing with the children, but also cleaning the bathroom and meeting the needs of the family members of the elderly. Men have to accept that compromise against machismo must be based on the conviction of historical injustice, without waiting for new advantages, rewards and applause to give up their power.

My intention is to recognize the contributions and commitment of men and hobbies, but keeping them firm in the face of the reflections of their privileges and defending the needs of female spaces while their male integration is dismantled.