Recently, on November 25, International Day against Violence against Women, we have seen several lilac dots on the facades of many institutions, house windows, social networks... Given that the public exposure of this symbol implies an active commitment to violence based on inequality between women and men, it can be said that the majority of Basque society has a clear attitude towards this type of violence. The latest Report on the Situation of Women and Men by Emakunde points out that 82.2% of the Basque population considers gender violence to be one of the most important problems of society.

I would like to know, however, whether all those 82.2% who say that they are against this type of violence agree first when it comes to defining what violence against women is and secondly when it comes to rejecting all the beliefs and values that cause it. Emakunde is clear that in order to combat this type of violence it is essential to make a great effort to change everyday attitudes that perpetuate inequality. But to do that, the first step is to learn how to detect those attitudes, to see where and how inequality occurs.

In this work of detecting attitudes that perpetuate inequality, working with young people is especially important. A girl may think that under whatsapp her partner’s messages like “where you are, with whom you are, sends a photo to see who you are” are the expression of love. Even the boy may think that with all the messages he sends to his partner he tells him he wants him more than anyone else. In both cases, it is important for young people to note that this type of attitude is limiting their freedom and autonomy, and that violence against women may one day be born out of the land sown by this type of attitude.

But the problem isn't just with young people. Young people in our society do nothing but adopt attitudes that do not correspond to equality. These anti-equality attitudes are still very vivid and are ignited as a flame when any wind streak that wants to change this model of society blows. The culture of inequality is fully integrated into our media, families, schools, bars, companies and other spaces. And proof of this is that many times you talk about issues related to equality, or you laugh, or you blame what happens to a woman, or you question a woman’s testimony, or you hear contradictions like “I am in favor of equality but I do not share with feminism.”

It is often said that we are not aware of the seriousness of the problems in the world until we feel close to them. Your daughter, your niece, your mother, your friend can be the victim of gender-based violence. In these cases, we wonder how it is possible to see a woman in a black hole like the one in the 21st century.

In order to combat violence against women, on the one hand, we have to go to the roots, analyzing our daily attitudes. On the other hand, it is clear that this type of violence needs permanent responses. To these two characteristics, I would add one last: the need for joint work between many institutions, associations and entities. The need for all people to work together. The problem of violence against women is not just for women, but for the whole of society, and we must face it all together.