“And you, do you like boys?” I cannot deny that I was surprised at the correctness of the question. I thought I was abroad and it would perhaps be more natural to ask him such a question. Fleeing from the question, on the other hand, would have meant only increasing the “ghost of Marxism”, and so, I took the path of the answer progresses: “The boys have never attracted me, but I don’t rule out that happening in the future. Why not?” I just needed to make a comment about my gay and lesbian friends. Instead, I answered, just in case to lighten the burden. “And you, do you like girls?” Their answer was more direct than mine, “No, I don’t like it.” What struck me the most was what he later added: “The first kiss I gave it to a girl, I had a partner, but no, I don’t like it. I realized that I didn’t like it, it was a disaster in bed.”

For a while I have reflected on the (almost) inability to have such a conversation in the Basque Country. Indeed, I immediately realized that the heterosexuality of my interlocutor with respect to mine, ours, was much more lax, much more reasonable. I didn't need, like me, politically corrective responses that would reveal their sexual naturalness.

Because the bad ones of heteronormativity are very diverse. Of course, its first victims, the main victims, are lesbians, gays and women, but heterosexual men also often taste it for their vinegar. The examples are varied. Men who do not fit in the “hunter man” standard (a. C. baboso, baboso, baboso), how many times have we not overcome the violence of the label of soft man, scarce man, masked man? If you’re not soft enough on the bed, devoid of a rather thick penis, you’ll fly back “the ghost of the maricon” around you. If one day your bed mate pulls out a hot “toy”, you will look at your penis: “What have I done wrong?” as if the world had to move around your penis. If you don’t advertise enough on your “conquests,” you won’t lack a curious friend to define the heterogeneous field well and maintain heterogeneous pride. If a boy rejects the village, the crew must respond quickly to what he considers a spectacular girl, an undeniable girl: “Won’t you be gay?” Of course, the question itself, like so many others, can be considered neutral, stupid, but in that context it is clear that it has nothing stupid, that it is totally homophobic. Needless to say, if you are told that one of your girls has “become” a lesbian. What a shame, what an insult! More than a gallardo, considered a betrayal of masculinity itself.

We would do well if we understood that to the extent that heteronormativity is a social institution we all participate, more or less, in its promotion. There will be those who say that heterosexuality is what needs to be demolished, and above all that any binary relationship has to be buried. It's possible. In the meantime, I think it would be worth looking for, practicing, disseminating other ways of living heterosexuality. At first, I was referring to a more relaxed, more relaxed heterosexuality. For a freer and more livable life.