On the occasion of the International Day against Violence against Women (25 November), the institutions in general, and the City Council of Bilbao in our case, resorted to citizenship to publicly show their rejection of any kind of violence against women. This is a matter of daily work, even more so when the research concludes that no major changes are observed in younger generations. In that sense, love has a lot to say. In fact, the models of romantic love that we have internalized in society can be directly related to the creation of relationships of couples of dependency.

Many romantic myths have emerged about love that have been incorporated into our symbolic imaginary. Elements such as jealousy remain in the relationships of couples and are considered as signs of love. Control is also mixed with the interest of the couple: we think that love only exists when it is an inexhaustible and eternal passion; we continue to dream with half orange, waiting for the arrival of the prince blue, etc.

These socially constructed superstitions condition our attitudes, thoughts and expectations according to sex. As for gender differential socialization, women have wanted to make us believe that it is the only one that gives meaning to our life; that the rupture of the relationship between partners is going to be our absolute failure; that love is all-powerful and able to change what we love; that we have to give ourselves without conditions. To the extent that women have been educated to ensure affective relationships, the above situations will allow for perverse suffering in the name of love.

It is not going to be an easy task to undermine the model of love that has been learned so far, for a healthier one. We have a major challenge: to remake the copla of love. We have an obligation to build a model of love that will help us live relationships in freedom and not in dependence. I will say this sincerely: this transformation will be the result of a revolution in the interior, in which women must first love themselves and take care of ourselves and the body. There is the key: the more we know each other, the more we will be able to know what we are looking for in our relations and to discover what we are looking for, and therefore to firmly deny what we do not want.