Psychologist Itsaso Rodriguez Domínguez and psychologist Lorea Zulet Ruiz have addressed the myths of suicide in the Psychology faculty of the UPV.

- “Asking and talking about suicide drives it.” Despite this fear and worry, talking about suicide with suicidal thinking can help reassure you rather than encourage you. It doesn't mean that thought goes away, but letting that person speak and listen can calm her emotionally. We should not be afraid to raise and ask the issue, because asking can be preventive work, opening the doors to talk about suffering and developing other tools.

“The person who wants to commit suicide does not say so.” Sometimes yes and sometimes you can't generalize. If you say, take it seriously. If you don't say, there may be signs.

“The person who manifests his intention to commit suicide will not really do so.” It is true that some do not take action, but many do. In spite of everything, it is important to listen and not judge or confront, because that can mean closing the other person and not resorting more to us.

- “The person with suicide attempts only wants to be cared for.” Obviously, with the suicide attempt we are asking for attention, but that is nothing to judge or that is why we should not take away importance from what is happening: on the contrary, this person is indicating that he needs help, it is a sour despair.

- “Only those who have serious problems commit suicide, children and adolescents do not commit suicide.” It's not true, and the data is there. The second death among 15-29 year-olds is the cause and more and more self-injuries. Suicide is multifactorial, it is not due to one thing, and prosecution based on the degree of severity or observation from this single perspective can lead to belittle the suffering of the other. In our society, it is common to despise the pain of the other, to believe that it is not so much, and care must be taken with them.

- “Suicide has hereditary components.” There's no scientific evidence that it's carried in the genes. Carrying a complicated dolo before a neighbor’s suicide can cause suffering or if there has been a suicide in the family we can “learn” which is a way to face the problems, we can repeat it, but that does not mean it is a genetic tendency.

- “Relate action to cowardice or courage.” Beware of adjecting deaths because it means rejudging the person. The association of behavior with a negative characteristic does nothing but silence the person.

"Men don't suffer so much." It's not true, and more men commit suicide than women, although there are more suicide attempts among them. Men tend to close more emotionally, culturally, and what they say is often a lot of suffering.

- “Suicide cannot be anticipated because it is done from impulsivity.” In many cases those around him say that they did not expect it, that it has been something improvised, and it is true that you cannot always foresee it, that you cannot always “save” someone, but the more testimonies as a psychologist you know, what you see is that, often, more than an impulsive act, thought is there before, even if not told.

- "Every suicide has mental illness." There's a relationship between suicide and mental illness, and it's true that people with mental illness may have more suicidal thoughts, but they can't generalize. What we know is that suicidal thinking is the symptom of suffering and from that we can read what is happening, rather than tag, because the world of mental illness is still very distorted and stigmatized.

What to do and what not to do

Two psychologists have highlighted three fundamental pillars in the monitoring of a person: attunement and empathy, involvement and inquiry, helping this person to find answers. They have also stressed the importance of humility and self-care: we will not always see signs, we will not always be there, because we want to help “but we are not heroes, we are not saviors”. It is important to ask for help and advice – there are, for example, the phone Itxaropen, Bidegi in Donostia, Besarkada in Pamplona, Bizeutsi at the level of the CAPV, the application Prevensuic, the web Papageno.es….

What not to do? Don’t challenge, like saying “you won’t do it”, because it can push you into that situation, don’t be afraid to address the issue – because that can lead you not to open that person with us – not to judge or reproach anything, not to reduce or relativize the problems that lead you to feel like this, not to force you to change your mind – the key is to give time, “don’t do it today” – and not to share a commitment of confidentiality.

Therapeutic contract

The rapporteurs have also presented a remedy for suicide prevention when the person is on therapy: the therapeutic contract between the patient and the therapist. When there is trust between the two, the goal is to reach compromises when the person thinks of a suicidal thought, approach or action, such as a commitment to call the therapist or go to someone trusted, do something he likes... The contract does not guarantee that he does not commit suicide, but if this kind of thinking commits to talking to him when he comes, it can serve to reassure him. In short, the contract itself gives the patient the idea of what he can do at a time of crisis, how he can ask for help, at a time when ideas are not clear.

In this link you will find the video of the conference aimed at Psychology students.