Four years to recover life
Today I have come to start with my words.
Four years!
I've taken four years to get my life back.
Four years also lived to flee the prison.
Four years… In silence… Just… Leaving aside the life of the past… To understand the functioning of my different mind and to recompose my body.
So thanks to ARGIA, today I have come to denounce it with my words out loud.
"Salamarekun, good, bonjour à vous".
My name is Mikel. I'm a forest master of 48 years and 100 kilos. Seen from outside. Inside I see a child and a lot thinner.
Maybe we've been fellow travellers someday, at ikastola, at militancy, at a party, on the coast or on the mountain, who knows.
The word "prison" is known by many because we have interned it in our blood. I've come to talk about another prison. With a prison that's still taboo.
Maleruski, I have known for eighteen years this type of prison; believing the Chinese gods, I, helped by my family and friends; imposing 35,000 chemical pills on the body; once the electricity was placed in my brain, and others, keeping it tied in the bed of the room… Other kind of torture… The witches we were shooting in 1609, today silence like me.
Psychiatry tells me about institutions! And they have spoiled some of my life!
To do so, I had to extricate myself from my people of identity by carrying with me all the traumatisms that I had on my back. So I started working with other medicines to fix my life and rebirth.
The word "prison" is known by many because we have interned it in our blood. I've come to talk about another prison. With a prison still taboo
Four years ago, I sent a letter to the ten psychologists I had every October 15 and now to the new director of the hospital in Baiona to report their guilt. From the beginning they are playing with me in silence and in denial. At the moment I only fight, but I will not be silent. In the COVID-19 era, I tried to talk about this struggle with some Basque and French media, but with fear, it was very likely that this type of medicine would not be criticized. I took some like a crazy person or a complotist. That 18-year-old medicine that scares me, you can understand it, like many, with the disagreement of my imposition of vaccination. And what I want to add is that I don't put everything apart in that medicine.
Today I have come to dance with my actions.
I am still living in Gascuña. From time to time I approach Mount Larrun to see my friends who keep in touch, waiting for them to come to me. That's the relationship for me.
Today I have moved away from the way of life of the individual. I have no rentals, no personal cars, no health insurance, no employment contract. I don't want any more relationship with that human being, I recognize that I've come out of nowhere.
Today I prefer to live with Amalurra, simpler, far from stress, without coping with collectivities, moving with the bike, cultivating a vegetable garden daily, cooking seasonal and local meals in full time, and practicing alternative medicines: Shiatsu, osteopathy, T.R.E, E.M.D.R., and other practices are my baths. I will continue to live and many years, Prefect! I wish you counted with me those years!
Today, I've known that I'm hypersensitive and a virtue and I learn to be neuroatypical with some experts. I've realized that some of you are like this and that I'm not alone.
Today, I write my life experiences with a collective. In French, for the moment, and it does not bother me. If that language has hurt me, I now honor my SLAM. On the other hand, the Basque language is still my language of life.
I have also joined the circus, gymnastics and dance to maintain health. It may one day appear on a table.
Now I leave you with my last words.
I'm going to shut up with a thought to finish, so you can talk to your brain, if you want.
I have come to know the blackest fears of my interior, I have transformed my most deaf anger with movement and writings and my internal sorrows and now I cry as a source. Since I do all this and I do it, then yes, I have started to see a rainbow in my life thanks to rain and light.
If you're already at peace, better if you're still on your way, don't give in or stick to life, it's worth it. Experience says so!
Mikel Berasaluze Faivre
Bidali zure iritzi artikuluak iritzia@argia.eus helbide elektronikora
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