In the situation we live in today it is almost impossible not to think about this phrase. We need to promote a society of solidarity, more than ever before, in order to deal with the problems that lie ahead. In a society that favours individualisation, in a modern society in which mobile phones and social networks have caused the distance between homes, we have a unique opportunity to strengthen ties. Just as we feel more united with those in the house, it seems that we need to increase closeness with our neighbours to, it seems, remind them that together we will leave here. Yes, yes! Get the staff from the Department of Health! A warm applause for them! Also for young people who stay at home, because being locked up at home will reduce pollution! Oh, and don't forget the husbands, women or children who are looking for the vaccine against the virus! They are also very proud that their family member has to leave, putting themselves in danger, because it is for the benefit of all.
How do you say ...? Are they not satisfied? But, but… being on the front line of people at risk of contagion, your partner is a hero… How won’t you feel proud? What does it mean when it says that people who live in a toxic relationship have to be with those who treat violently at home? What's wrong with it? No, no, no! That is not possible! If they are so close, they will surely solve their relationship problems!... Isn't it?
"It's as important to have company as knowing to be alone. If your phone or Skype doesn't work and you're working abroad, how will you get in touch with your family?"
At first I mentioned the consequences of Aristotle's words, but I did not mean the positive consequences. No, these words have also had negative consequences, or rather, in our society. Let us not blame poor Aristotle for our confusion. I don’t know when exactly happened, but it seems that at some point humans were able to develop a taste for “nice ideas,” and I think we’re at the highest point of that fashion. We have to be happy, we have to love the neighbor, we have to form a family, we have to try to have as many friends as possible... It seems that being alone, loneliness, has become something that needs to be avoided. So they sell us, at least, the idea of friendship and of the group, as if it served to solve all our problems.
Be happy! Tell someone who is in grief to see how he responds. Do you want the one next door? The partner who has to suffer violence from his partner will surely find it difficult to do so. Yes, yes, a person who cannot find a job with a living wage will want to have children right now, of course. Ah, and I have an important message for parents who tell kids that they have to have a lot of friends: I have a lot of two-cent coins in my wallet, but for a five-euro ticket (for one! ). I would change them right away!
Yes, it is true that having friends is very important for the individual. To relate to others, to be part of a group, it is essential to learn many of the skills we lack from others, and not to mention emotional needs. Many times we need physical and emotional protection, and the most effective method to meet those needs is to turn to someone, because reality is not objective, and surely those around us will have a different view of our situation. The media (e.g. phones and the Internet) that today are suffering a certain hatred from some people have made this closeness easier.
But it's not always that way. It's just as important to have company as to know how to be alone. If your phone or Skype doesn’t work and you’re working abroad, how will you get in touch with your family? If you belong to a broken family or you've gone to live alone, who are you going to ask for a hug when you're in bed? Your boy? Your girl? No, you won't have anyone close by. We won't always be surrounded by people. What is more, we do not always want to be surrounded by people! Or have you forgotten the hours you spent in your room when you were young and things weren't right? What school did I leave and take a walk to calm down before I got home?
I'm writing a lot of questions, but I think the questions are one of the most appropriate ways to activate our thinking. When did you speak to yourself for the last time? When did my neighbours, who were acclaimed from the windows, turn to themselves? To this “cute gesture” they seem to be happy with themselves, and of course, to this “cute gesture”, they have perfectly justified shouting at the boy who goes from the street home, who lives only in a village that is not theirs and has had to return from shopping with empty hands, because the queue was too long and had an online appointment with his colleagues to do a teamwork. But of course, it is they who are making a “nice gesture”, not the one who is busy outside, although he has not left the ambulance or the car of the Ertzainas with a uniform. Although you can explain many of the “nice ideas” behind being in the group, I don’t need them, I know. But politicians are also playing in the same way that they demonstrate their ‘nice’ side to defend their party, without taking into account the feelings and lives of those who are too busy carrying out those ‘nice ideas’. For God’s sake, which I have just heard applauding, it was you who yelled at an old man who was coming back from rubbish yesterday at noon! !
Let’s leave these “nice ideas” of “nice gestures” for a moment please and use your head a little, OK? I understand that there are many people who have lost their businesses, that there are many hospitalized patients, that are healing and seeking cure, that have been diagnosed with ADHN, that have to be at home... and that doing something in their honor can be a good idea, but do you really think that a gesture will solve your problems? Will the applause received replace the lost wage? Will you be encouraged to come home? Answer me a quick question: Do you applaud them... or because you're afraid to be isolated at home and want to see that you're doing something with someone?
I repeat: loneliness is our friend. Just as friends are not perfect, it is true that this can also make us go wrong, but that does not diminish their value (like friends! ). Who helps you keep your breath all the time? Who controls the heartbeat of your heart? Are your family members moving the blood or making antibodies when you’re sick…?
"I'm writing a lot of questions, but the questions are, in my opinion, one of the most appropriate ways to activate our thinking. When did you last talk to yourself?
No. You're the one who does all that. It's you who's made the decisions of your life, and when you've been told what you have to decide, you decided to follow your decision. When your girlfriend or your boyfriend left you, it's you who cried. And that's what's been going on until today. When his partner didn't pass the test, he smiled at them what he got. He who brought your children into the world; despite symptoms of depression, bipolar disorder, ADHN or any other illness, which has woken up this morning and, again, added one day in his life. It can be very “nice” to applaud others, but being able to applaud us is not “nice”, but nice. And no, it is not a “nice idea,” because being able to applaud us is not an easy task. What's more, inventing in our past can bring many bad moments, but it's worth it, and this will certainly help keep control of the difficult and complicated experiences that life will bring us. To put it mildly, we would train ourselves.
Also, believe me once again if I tell you that a good psychologist (a good one) will not take the job away from you. You will be ordered to work at home and if, despite following the instructions, you have doubts, you will be given more information to solve them. As they say in Spanish, it will teach you to fish, not to fish in your hands.
So forget about nice ideas and answer, as in Gatibu, this last question I propose to you:
Who are you?
Bidali zure iritzi artikuluak iritzia@argia.eus helbide elektronikora
ARGIAk ez du zertan bat etorri artikuluen edukiarekin. Idatzien gehienezko luzera 4.500 karakterekoa da (espazioak barne). Idazkera aldetik gutxieneko zuzentasun bat beharrezkoa da: batetik, ARGIAk ezin du hartu zuzenketa sakona egiteko lanik; bestetik, egitekotan edukia nahi gabe aldatzeko arriskua dago. ARGIAk azaleko zuzenketak edo moldaketak egingo dizkie artikuluei, behar izanez gero.
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