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"If we normalize ghosting, we're normalizing pain and violence."

  • Psychologist Ainara Aizpurua Perez has talked about the influence of ghosting on society, especially among young people.
Argazkia: Pressfoto / Freepik

10 November 2023 - 07:19

“Ghosting describes a cruel way to end a relationship. It is to disappear without apparent justification as a ghost, abandoning all mutual acts and thus the relationship.” With these words, he describes what it is to ghosting Zugan's psychologist. It works mainly with children, adolescents and families.

Is it a practice that occurs through social networks or also occurs in face-to-face relationships?

Breaking relationships inadequately is not something new, it has always happened. Today, however, the digital age or use of new technologies has made it more frequent or more frequent. In the end it is easier for the person to disappear behind the screen and not worry because the lack of empathy is greater. It doesn't respond and it's done.

Are there less emotional resources to communicate through social media?

I always say that we must make responsible use of technology, but it is true that they do not teach us how. When I work with my parents, they often forbid them from working on social media, but they don't teach kids how to use them. It is not so much a question of banning, but of showing how to use them, what content they consume and, above all, how to create relationships.

Does it affect only affective relationships or can it affect other types of relationships?

It varies by age. In young people around 20 years of age it is more the same in affective sex because they use more applications like Tinder. In the younger ones, however, I have seen that more happens among friends. In the consultation I have been told many times that they have made a new and special friend and have suddenly stopped blocking and writing on social media. It can also be delivered in the workplace. For example, if you're not told in a selection process whether you've got a job or why you haven't been given it, you don't know if you're still in the selection process. They just stop answering the emails and they're there.

What do these kinds of practices mean for the person ghosting?

Above all, it shows that this person has few socio-emotional abilities. As he is unable to cope with such a situation, saiHestea.

"Emotional responsibility is important, taking into account the impact of your actions on other people"

What tools can be worked on to develop communication?

I think empathy reduces aggression. So I think it's important to develop the importance of empathy. On the other hand, we should work assertiveness, that is, the direct expression of individual feelings in defence of my rights and those of the other. It's also important to consider emotional responsibility, the impact your actions can have on other people.

What influence can it have on ghosting?

I think we should take into account the type of emotional bond and the duration of the relationship. If it is a short-term relationship, the impact can be slightly reduced. But if the relationship has been more intense, romantic and passionate, you can feel great anxiety and disgust. According to the cases, questions usually arise; what I have done wrong, I think the fault is mine, you can go through the dialogues in search of an answer and many other things. So it has a lot to do with self-esteem. The end of a relationship is grief, and lack of response makes grief difficult. In addition, that person will have to recognize that that relationship will not have the end they would like.

Can it also influence future relations?

Through this experience he can develop ideas such as the normalization of this type of treatment, the belief that it is replaceable and the fear and difficulties to future relationships. Teenagers, for example, have more standardized doing or hosting, but it shouldn't be that way. You don't have to separate the pain.

What does the standardization of ghosting entail?

If we normalize ghosting, we're normalizing pain and violence. And this can have serious consequences on the relationships and dynamics that we can generate as a society.

 


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