Aduna's death was sudden when he was still in the womb of Amets Etxeberria. When the gynecologist told her the death, Etxeberria told her: "I have two other children, I have taken them on more than one occasion and the child may have died for raising many floors," he added. Fortunately, he says, that was the only time he felt guilt, "because the gynecologist's response helped me a lot. ‘It’s not your fault, there are pregnant women who lift a lot of weight and don’t have to happen this, it has nothing to do with it.’ How important are those first words, which are nailed to you! That is what he said in the Ama Eme Ume programme of Hamaika Telebista.

"I know there are other women who have felt very guilty, among other things, because of the comments and attitudes they have received." Etxeberria was treated with more women who have gone through the same situation and reported that she found "horrific cases": "The woman next to me had a nephew who picked up that nephew and accused him of having thought of lifting that floor during his pregnancy. The feeling of guilt felt by that woman was terrible and it took her a lot of work to get rid of it. He once said that he was not allowed to wear colored clothes and run a colony because he felt guilty. That is why Etxeberria says that it is essential to have professionals who treat you with sensitivity and proper protocols and training in the process ("Empty Hands has done a great job in it").

He also stressed the importance of the words we use in this field. The journalist tells Etxeberria that she lost her child when she was pregnant, and the interviewee warns her: "It's a mistake for me and for society at large: The women we are pregnant have not lost the child, we have not died children, it is the baby who has died. To say that we have lost it is a very great burden. And it is not said in bad faith, but throughout this process I have realized the importance of words; also at the moment of grief it helps not to bring the feeling of guilt on top."

Etxeberria recalls that he made the decisions "instinctively" and very clearly, wanting to see his daughter's body, etc., but all the decisions are legitimate, he says, there is no better decision than the other, that each one should do whatever they want and what they want, without judging, because also there you can develop the feeling of guilt.

Self-destruction specialists

About women who can't get pregnant and abortions, perinatal psychologist Nagore Uriarte said in ARGIA: "Women are experts in self-destruction in all areas, let's say nothing about this issue, where women often carry more burden." For this reason, Etxeberria wished to highlight the message sent to Internet users: "We women are not to blame, what we want is to protect those children, we wanted to bring those children to the world alive," he added. It also advises your environment: "If you don't know what to say to those who are mourning, hurl me up and it's over, just say 'I'm sorry, I'm here', because we often don't know how to act."

Then AMETS Etxeberria became pregnant again and had a child. "I wrote to the admirer asking for forgiveness, saying that this child was not coming to replace him..." Once again, the feeling of guilt in the air, but he smiles: he is at peace with Aduna.