argia.eus
INPRIMATU
How to insert knives with a smile
  • I have not become paranoid: this week we have seen two Bago!az programs. Both at the same issue. You look like a standard contest, everything is applause, smile and energy. The other is full of coded messages, and deciphering them opens the door to a dark and conflicting world. You choose: if you take the blue pill, this chronicle ends here and you can keep thinking that the world is “dressed in pink”, as the great ones of Trabu sang. But if you choose the red pill, you can start to see how far the rabbit hole goes.
Gorka Bereziartua Mitxelena @gorka_bm 2019ko apirilaren 11
Jerry Lee Lewisen larruan sartuta ikuskizun ikaragarria eman dute Alkainek eta Ikerrek.

For those who know how to see the signals, the seventh Bago!az programme has had a very significant start: I am referring, of course, to the first song that all contestants sing together. The Huntza group has been quiet. Detail can go unnoticed. But keep in mind that the singer who presents the program, Zuriñe Hidalgo, is also a singer of the Hesian band. And we all know how the question is between Huntza and Hesian: if we understand that Basque music lovers who are incubating puberty are zebra babies and imagine that they don't know what meadow to choose to eat, full of doubt... The ivy that appears at the time is the hungry gepardo and on the Barrier something like a cruel panther. And the two of them are hunting dozens of poor animalitos on that dubious occasion over the past few years and crashing their meats with the latest hit of the borroqueen pop.

The hostility between the groups is evident and leaves some trace at any time: today one has a thousand visits more than the other on Youtube; tomorrow the other sings on TV the song of the first and if he does not like you are fucked and dancing. I would say that we are living a historic moment in Basque music with the struggle between these two groups. Something comparable, for example, with the nuclear escalation that took place at the beginning of this century between Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, which affected both of them in a regrettable way, or, perhaps to be more precise, with the position war he held for years between the twins Hannah Montana and Olsen.

Third armed forces in favour of Hesian or Ivy have not yet been organised, as far as I know. But look.

Eye, eye

This seems somewhat out of the agenda. I do not think that is the case. We must not forget that Bago!az aims to educate future artists. Maybe it's not bad for you from a very young age to learn how the business works: singing is not enough, you have to know other things, for example, how to teach the dog to the competition without losing your smile. How to do the offenses that only the enemy unfigures, while the normal viewer only sees a good roll show. This week's program has been a program to learn these kinds of not-so-clean tricks that have to be catalogued as an Egyptian hieroglyph, full of submessages.

The main one, which has become clearer today than ever for anyone who sees the signs: that the low-intensity class conflict that the programme has promoted so far has become an offensive. It is clear that the factual powers operating in Bago!az want to create conditions favourable to the common competitors (bourgeoisie) to completely dominate and relegate the ollons (proletariat), which, if I am not mistaken, the present Marxist youth would say “subsume”.

Anyone who has any doubt, let him see what they've done to Jokin.

It is the one that has the most chances of winning from those who come out of the ollery. It does everything right. It has voice, it has attitude, it has charisma. Joder, I'll say, it's my favorite with Eider, because for this you don't have to get tired of seeing the signs. Eider is clearly Saldias’s favorite, and you always have to keep in mind what the Major chooses. Well, to the point: Jokin has been given a song in Italian, that is, a language that nobody talks outside Italy, of a country plunged into total musical decadence from Adriano Celentano and Franco Battiato, coming in itself from that septic well in the form of a boot that has produced products such as the dirty Zucchero that have put Eros Ramazzotti, Laura Jokin. Very difficult. And yet, she has held it very strongly on the runway, demonstrating in this program that she is Zinedine Zidane, who was focused on a melon and who, however, was able to cross the squadron with volea.

But the jury had kept his stab. Ylenia Baglietto and Iker Villa, with their negative ratings, have darkened an action that, in itself, has been apothetical.

For those who can interpret the signals, the gala has also left evidence to appreciate the size of this crusade against the olls: Danae has entered the competition after a very hard mourning. Who put him as a coach? Yes: Iker “The Bermuda Triangle” Villa, next to which singing is one of the safest wagers on payroll card roulette. Although no statistics have yet been made, it can be said with relative peace that more participants have disappeared next to the Villa than mountaineers in the Annapurna. And as if it were not enough, he had to go to the square with a song from Coldplay, a piece in which the listener has fallen into a coma when giving it to him. There are no rights.

In short: Bago!az intends to throw to the lions everything that smells like smelling. Don't be fooled by smiles, the goal is extermination. And anyone who is at risk of being exterminated cannot walk as if it were a sign, for fear of getting stuck and complying with all the regulations on time. When it comes to a systemic problem, it is time to take action. From previous programs, Andoni Ollokiegi's intention to break some standard was felt, and in this program, at least the one who knows how to see the signs, has detected that he is performing a counterweight: Jokin has ended up singing with the ollokis – like saying “here we are together” – and we have seen Ollokiegi himself helping the essay of Saldias, the only coach who sympathizes with the working class, jumping all the protocols. These resistance gestures will be very important in the final straight of the program.

Some final considerations before the end of this chronicle:

1) Did Angel Alkain know that he was going to play Jerry Lee Lewis? It looked like Jerry Lewis. And of course, it's not the same thing.

2) The giants are also on low days: if last week’s news was a late but plague in Saldias, this week cannot pass without mentioning the problems of tuning the Urola tiger. These details help us humanize the artist that we have divinized.

3) Look at Arrieta was the invited coach and Aintzane, who has sung with her, has been the worst rated in the program. They have raised the song in such a spasmodic way, that sometimes it seems that some coach moves as if they were receiving electric shocks, it may be convenient to remember the slogan of the deodorant brand Axe: “You’re never closer than when you’re chill.” I mean, just to calm you down, if it doesn't give you the potato.