With the words of poet Vicent Andrés Estellés, I am one among so many cases, and not an isolated, rare or extraordinary case. Unfortunately, no. Among so many, one. In particular, according to the Council of Europe, and among other major institutions such as Save The Children, I am one in five people. 20 per cent of children who have suffered, suffer or will tolerate child sexual abuse.

I'm one of the five invisible, a reality so painful that it's better for anyone to find it or to be in a hideaway that they can't go out. It is known that childhood is happy and that family is a wonderful place to grow and feel loved and protected, and all of this and all of that. And let no one say that the story is not like that. Yes, I feel like the party is broken, but many children are not lucky enough to live this reality. Reality is not always what we want and the only possibility of change is to look at ourselves in front and grasp the branches. And the cruel reality recognizes us that 85 percent of the abuses take place in trusted, family environments, 65 percent on the walls of the home, and in 3 out of 10 reports of sexual violence against children, the aggressor is the father. That's right, this is not Disney, because it looks like a horror movie.

But I am also the one called Pau, the one who has come to keep quiet, as they have created me here and I am here and how things happen to me (and they happen to us), I write them here and I expose them here. And as my colleague Inma García, President of ACASI, repeats, we have begun to speak, and we cannot fail to do so. I tell you this clearly and unequivocally: when I was a child, I was a victim of sexual abuse, and I am not a rare case, among many, one in five. Is that understood? And if you understand it, what are we going to do?

I'm one of those who don't keep quiet. One of those that we need the whole society behind us. Or, recalling a phrase from the writer and feminist Gemma Pasqual about battered women, that "every time a victim of abuse opens the door has to find a community." I would add the community organized to defend the rights of children and adolescents, ready to protect themselves against all kinds of ill-treatment and abuse.

Among so many, I'm one. The voices of the invisible -- to be seen, to be supported, to be said to be enough. It is enough for this patriarchal society that is built on hierarchies. We cannot accept that boys and girls are placed at a lower level, a society that holds that boys and girls are the property of adults. It is a society that has justified and encouraged all kinds of mistreatment and abuse of power over childhood and adolescence, often in the name of education and love. Beatings, blows, sexual assaults, disproportionate punishments and strong insults are, in most cases, those who are rejected by the majority of society. We've come from the centuries of child abuse, and we've made some progress. But it's not enough, and we have to recognize that overprotection, dependence, manipulation, correction, deceit, blackmail or contempt are part of the culture of violence against children. So we have to reinvent ourselves and start in the culture of good treatment, grow and educate ourselves. Because children are not passive objects, but active subjects of their own lives. In this framework of respect, it must be understood that the bodies of children are not toys, that they are bodies that must be respected and that they have the right to authorization. Your desires cannot be manipulated. The affection they give or receive should not be imposed. The decisions they make may be wrong, but we have to decide to grow, we have to take risks and we also have to make mistakes; we cannot continue to be anchored in the culture of error and we have to turn frustration into learning. To rethink the education we have received and to move from the culture of obedience to the culture of freedom, to raise children and adolescents with confidence, security and determination.

It is enough for this patriarchal society that perpetuates gender inequalities; it is enough for the society that wants submissive women and aggressive men. This, from all the available speakers – music, cinema, advertising, fashion, social networks… – permanently disseminates the sexist culture and culture of violence that is transmitted and perpetuated from generation to generation. Only one point of clarification: 90% of the perpetrators of crimes against the sexual integrity of children are men. And no, they're not monsters, they don't have branches, they don't have tails; they live among us, often well-regulated and successful. They are children of patriarchal education, which we carve every day without any modesty.

I'm one of those, and I'm coming to ask you to break the silence with the victims. Don't be afraid or ashamed. Talk, talk and don't get tired of talking. Let the issue of abuse be heard in every house, in every school, in every leisure space. In fact, the word, not the silence, is what limits the aggressors and opens a path of hope for the victims. And dialogue with children and adolescents about good treatment and positive sexuality, but also about abuse of power and aggression, because, according to Pepa Oven, "not to talk about child abuse - and sexual abuse is nothing but a form of maltreatment - is a way to put at risk abuse".

I am one of five of the many who have suffered sexual abuse of children. And I come to tell you, ask you, promise, if you feel sadness, helplessness or anger, that you will not fail, that you will not stop or that you circumvent the subject; do not let us pass by. Crying, screaming, hitting the ground or paying for psychological help. But above all, you become angry and turn your sadness, your helplessness and your anger into a political and collective action against sexual abuse and in defense of the rights of the child.

Pau Lluc i Pérez

He has recently published the book Despulles with editorial on sexual abuse of children (ASI). He is a tutor in ASIA prevention courses for teachers.