argia.eus
INPRIMATU
“I’d like to think I’ve broken the path for those who come from behind”
  • BAMBI (Amurrio, 1999) has launched a collection to feminize the face in its transition process. It talks about the situation of the Trans collective and its artistic trajectory.
Aimar Gutierrez Bidarte Aiaraldea @aiaraldea 2024ko maiatzaren 02a
Trans kolektiboaren egoeraren inguruan ere luze hausnartu du Bambik. / Argazkia: Aiaraldea.eus CC BY SA.

First of all, who is Bambi?

This is the question I find most difficult to answer as normal. Who is Bambi? I guess I'm a 25-year-old multidisciplinary artist. I am a trans person above most things, and that has a lot to do with my artistic process. What else am I? I'm also a little witch. It looks like a cliche, but I'm a free person who wants to live his life outside the opinions of others.

I was talking about being a trans person defining you mostly.

If it's not above all, I'm above most. I define myself as trans, marica and coarse. Transa, because I'm the person who has made a transition. Marika, because I'm a trans woman who hasn't lost her way of relating to the collective, I'm a circus and I keep doing what I want, without fear of judging myself as a male or female. And fat, because it's obvious.

How did the transition process begin?

“What if I am more than just a kid who drains?”

It's a nice story. A lot of my trans friends talk about how young they knew they were trans women, they were able to see. This is not my case. I've always been a kid coming out of the norm -- I'm going to use the male, so I declare the mind of my time and -- a strange kid. But growing up, I never felt like I was a woman trapped in a man's body, let alone.

When I was 15 years old, I started doing a draga, and that's where my first thoughts emerged.

Then the draga was not so widespread and almost nobody of my age was draga. So I started playing with gender identity and so on. I started getting to know drags artists and trans people. I realized I was identifying with each other. I was not yet able to understand that I could devote myself to two areas, namely a trans person in the drag world. It was a street or a whale, or you're a trans person or you make a draga.

Drag shows are said to help trans people walk the way. This is not my case. My interest was artistic, I didn't need drag to explore with the feminine. Outside the show I was already a circus, but I had the opportunity to meet people who were in my same situation.

I started to push my head, "What if I'm more than just a draga boy?" At that time I discovered La Veneno, and until then I did not find the reference. Then I disassembled the myth a little bit, but it was very important to me.

Photo: Aiaraldea.eus CC BY, S.A.

It will be essential to be a leader in this whole process, right?

Very important yes. My referents have never been references of trans people today. I've always been inspired by the referents of the 1970s. I named myself, Bambi, in honor of a Vedette in Paris in the 1940s.

To put myself into thinking, I would not refer to any current trams, my friends, of course, but no one outside that sphere. My referents are in older people.

In recent years many trans YouTuber have appeared, but I have never been given a special interest. I had artists from the 20th century north, those who played and experimented with gender. At that time, little was said about gender identity, and I believe that the issue was addressed from a more open and experimental perspective by my referents.

I think the current trans references speak of the transition processes from very closed perspectives: if you are a transverse woman you have to follow this path and you have to become a woman in 100%… The current references are very binary references and, necessarily, they mark our paths. I too am marked by those references and currents, although I do not want to. Having said all this, the referents are fundamental to me, I cannot understand my life without them. Everything is based on referents.

A few months ago he made the decision to perform the surgery.

"I live in permanent dysphoria, it causes me enormous anxiety and I'm always struggling with my doubts"

Decision to fund the intervention [laughter] more than to do it. When you start the transition process, you do it under ideals. You put the spotlight: I’m going to do this and the other, that intervention… In line with the referrals we discussed earlier, most trans people who appear in the media have the financial resources to do it, and most trans people are not in that situation. I started my process with great intentions, but I learned that I would have to do things differently, I wanted I didn't have the resources to do it. But that has a cap, its acceptance has limits.

I live in permanent dysphoria, it causes me enormous anxiety, and at all times I am struggling with my doubts. After a long time thinking, I decided to launch a crowdfunding campaign through the GoFundMe platform for facial feminization. I struggled to make a decision. I've always represented myself as a strong person, and I've shown myself publicly. This step meant that many of my weaknesses emerged.

In my environment, such campaigns have been common to fund surgeries. It's a way of collaborating with friends. I would never think that I had the impact that it had, that it would extend in both Amurrio and its surroundings, and that I would support it so much. The more you look like yourself, the more authentic you will be. I have been repeating this phrase to my relatives for a long time, but I never apply it to myself. Now is the time.

Do you think social class and economic resources condition the transition process of trans people?

"It's a marginal transe. Most of the people of the group live in very precarious conditions, the unemployment rate is huge…"

Totally. Lately there is a lot going on from the reactive sectors that trans is elitist. The transa is not elitist at all, it is elitist the aesthetic canons imposed on us and the ones we must follow to be integrated into the herd.

It's a marginal transe. Most of the people of the group live in precarious conditions, the unemployment rate is huge…

He has denounced the difficulty of finding work for Trans people.

85% of Trans people are unemployed. It's a real fact. I have experienced situations of exclusion: I have been told that when a trans or “normal” person is hired, the second cause least rejection. The worst thing is that I too have swallowed that speech.

Photo: Aiaraldea.eus CC BY, S.A.

Going back to his artistic trajectory, what has been his development in recent years?

I studied makeup because the special effects of films have always drawn me. I worked in an opera house in Prague and when I returned to Amurrio I decided to go to Madrid. There I began to make up myself in photo shoots, but they immediately put me in front of a camera as a model. I never thought I was going to do it. One thing led me to another and I've finished as an actor or performance. I've learned to live with misleading syndrome.

I've worked with famous artists like Samantha Hudson, The Forbidden, Karmento… Now I'm with Paul Preciado in a piece of theater created by him. Paul has been one of my leading benchmarks before I start working with him.

Paul Preciado contacted me after the exhibition on Catalina Eraus, I couldn't believe it. We've been doing theater for two years from different countries.

Do you think you've influenced Amurrio?

“If anyone has doubts that I had at the time, let him know who is being addressed”

Since I started the GoFundMe campaign, my perception of Amurrio has changed a lot. My video spread a lot and a lot of people showed me the support. I think it's an open town, but that doesn't mean that when I go out on the street, I don't hear laughter and comments. So I was really excited about the video and the reception of my request. I want to thank you for that protection and that warmth.

I'd like to think that somehow I've broken the path for those who come from behind. If anyone in Amurrio has doubts that I had at the time, let him know to whom he is directed.